You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
