i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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