how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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