the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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