I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize