I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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