Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
