You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
