So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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