I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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