They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
