did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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