So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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