i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
