I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
