I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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