he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
