That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
