So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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