i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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