Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
