I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
