You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize