id be glad to
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
