Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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