Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
