he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
