you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
