i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
