I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize