five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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