I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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