I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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