D3 body, D1 cock
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
