I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
