I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
