I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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