do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
