I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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