I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
