week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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