i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
