pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
