is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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