She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
