If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
