when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
