A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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