Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize