Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
