No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
