He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
