OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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