We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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