is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
