So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
