I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
