I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
