Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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