don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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