actually, I'm a sock model
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize