I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
