Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he fucked my hip out of place.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
