we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
