I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
