so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
