This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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