and i looked up. we had an audience...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
