you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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