is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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