***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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