just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
