Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
