just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
