Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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