I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
