Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
