He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
