Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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