maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize